missing memaw

It is really difficult to grasp that thirteen years have passed since I last saw my Memaw. To say that I am missing her would be an absolute understatement. Missing someone never becomes easier or hurts any less, it just becomes the new normal. But let me tell you...what I wouldn't give to still physically be sharing life with her, to share an adult conversation - seeking her advice - in navigating all of these traits we share, & continuing traditions we always had, except now they would include Alivia. Oh how it makes my heart ache. On the other hand, it also makes my heart SWELL with the utmost-gratitude and memories. I am so grateful for having my Memaw all of the years that I did. Without even trying she taught me all about being a lady, poise, the importance of dedication & hard work, holding on to your faith because it's the only thing that you have left in the end, true strength, not only having grace, but giving it freely even when you have been hurt, forgiveness, & that it is completely okay to take care of yourself.

Just last week I was telling someone that all of my grandparents couldn't have been more opposite if someone tried! My Memaw was every bit a lady-full of faith and grace-listening to Gospel music-watching Lawrence Welk on a Saturday night-up early for church every Sunday morning, while my Grandpa & Grandma were twangy country music around a pool table-fishing-casino going-late night tv after we said our bedtime prayers, and just how happy all of that made me & that I couldn't imagine it any other way. She replied, "that's why you are so well-rounded m'dear!" My eyes filled with tears and I grinned from ear to ear, what I wouldn't give to just tell them all a simple thank you. Thank you for giving me the best parts of you. Thank you for always being, unapologetically, YOU. Thank you for loving me and loving me WELL. You gave me enough love for my lifetime, but you gave so much, that I will spend the rest of my life, missing you completely..

Wanda Lee Pace | May 17th 1933-November 14th 2002

My Memaw's service was the first one I ever spoke at. I was 17, a junior in high school, & had not yet discovered that I could "write." I had so many emotions and feelings that I knew I had to say something, to honor her in some way. I took to AOL and came across a poem that seemed to fit perfectly. These are the words I read...

God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be
so he put his arms around you
and whispered,
"Come to Me"

With tearful eyes we watched you
and saw you pass away
and although we love you dearly
we could not make you stay.

A Golden heart stopped beating
hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best