goodbye grandpa

Over the past year I have tried to wrap my head and my heart around life. Still trying to grasp losing my truly one of a kind grandparents that I had my entire life and how I keep going on without them in it. I do know I almost made it to 30 with 2 grandparents (which can be a rare thing!) but last year, less than a month apart, I lost them both. Life truly is a vapor. No matter how young or old someone is, it is never enough time with them. We always long for more. 

June 14, 2014 is a day that feels like it was literally last week, but also forever ago. When we lose someone we love that's how those days go. This particular day, I lost my Grandpa. Today I am sharing the piece that I wrote and read at his service...

Charles Louis Richards | 1937-2014

"I can’t seem to find the words to say or even know exactly how I feel, all I know is you are gone. I will forever cherish all of the good memories, learn from the difficult times, & forever have a place in my heart for the only Grandpa I have ever had. I truly hope you finally are at peace. I know the past few years were some of the most difficult, but you did the very best that you could. None of us know what it was like to be in your shoes.

But I do know that I love you, in fact all of us did. I sure hope you knew that. It seems there are always things we wish we could do differently when we lose someone we love, but all we can do now, is do those different things from this point forward. Though I know for certain none of that makes all of this any easier.

Life is an adventure & you definitely had a big one! I am clinging to all of my adventures with you. They go through my mind & I can’t imagine them any other way. Everything from you teaching me how to hold a pool stick to our ‘infamous’ Florida trip where you had to carry out my first (& only) spanking from you, or even just going to Woody’s Corner for our usual candy runs…you know it is true what they say about Grandpa’s giving their grandkids all of the candy, ice cream, & cookies they want, because I know you sure did! I like to think you made up for all of the sweets by making THE best BBQ EVER. No one will ever make smoked meat or sauce quite like you.

One of my favorite memories from when I was growing up was when I would stay the night. You would let me stay with Grandma while you slept in the spare room. Even with the door closed & our TV on, we could hear you snoring so loud! You would get up really early & go get donuts, cherry cake & glazed to be exact, & leave them just inside the front door. After I would wake up & walk towards the kitchen, there a little Daylight Donuts sack would sit waiting for me. Those will always be my favorite donuts. Gardening specifically your blackberries & tomatoes, the John Deere Gator that you added a matching green with yellow fringe trim canopy to, fishing complete with my own little snoopy fishing pole & tackle box, making jewelry, belt buckles, & knives, fish frys, your love of mowing, introducing me to twangy country & blues music, giving me my love for REAL sweet tea, smashing cans in the garage, letting me pat & rub your bald head, & cheering on our Saints...these are the things I will forever treasure.

I sure am going to miss you Grandpa. Thank you for all of the adventures but more importantly, thank you for being my Grandpa. I love you so much! And though you are known for always being in a hurry to leave, may you now be at peace & finally at your destination. I will see you again some day."